Balancing is a Delicate Art

When I'm home, I can't seem to turn off my mind to the things I have yet to accomplish at work. Also, I wonder if I am doing enough in my role. I have the unfortunate habit of comparing myself to others. I did it as a classroom teacher, and I do it now as a tech facilitator. There are revelations of colleagues working together, and I am noticeably left out. I know that each of us has a certain skill set and unique talents, and we cannot all be involved in every project BUT there's that thought bubble in the air, ponderous, "Why wasn't I asked to be a part of ____?"

Public Domain via Pixabay

Ponderous bubbles lead to reflection and self-criticism. 

I have suspended thoughts all around me, annoyingly tapping the top of my head for attention. Some deserve the attention, others need to be blown away by a gale.

The balance I seek is cultivating the thoughts that will enable me to grow professionally and personally while culling bubbles that are detrimental to that growth. It's a monumental task to decipher which will lead to the growth I need and desire. If I get too caught up in the wrong thought bubble, it will obscure my true focus. Lingering long in a cloud that is a distraction and that which undermines progress is a misstep in judgment which naturally leads to self-criticism.

I struggle with balancing the confidence that I am doing well at all that I put my mind to--work, rearing two boys, managing a house--against those things that function as a counterweight and find it exhausting. I have accepted the fact that I will always be plagued with balancing myself in my job and in my life. I know my limits. I know how my mind works currently; I just need to balance it differently. Re-calibrate.

Public Domain via Pixabay